Age is Just a Number - Or is it?
I sat in front of the mirror facing the question I had dreaded for so long…” is this skirt too short for women my age to wear?!” All of a sudden, like the flip of a switch, I was in another category of ladies - the type that questions their clothing choices in the context of age.
I had heard these words uttered out loud by my mom, my mother-in-law, and even some of my friends before. “Oh my gosh…I couldn’t possibly wear that!” or, “I can’t pull that off, it’s just not appropriate for my age.” And, let’s not forget, “No way, I look like a teenager!” But, I never really believed these notions until I faced my micro miniskirt that rotated to the front of my closet this summer.
Should our age dictate the types of clothing and accessories that we wear, or even worse, our personal style?
While I admit there are things I no longer feel as comfortable wearing outside of my house, I firmly disagree that our age should be the primary limitation of the types of things we wear in general. There are women who have 20 years on me that can easily pull off a high waisted bikini or a bohemian maxi dress, or who don more adventurous hairstyles like the lob and still look incredibly chic. The difference between us is not age alone - it’s body type, personality, color preferences, stylistic influences, and so much more. Yet, age often remains the primary factor that immobilizes and intimidates us when it comes to casting a style of our own.
The truth is, fashion is something that is intimate and personal at any age. So, stop establishing limitations and expiration dates for what goes or stays in your closet. Instead, let your own personal interests, body shape, and likes and dislikes drive your wardrobe choices.
There are plenty of great examples of older women who maintain exquisite style. Take Diane von Furstenberg, Anna Wintour, Carine Roitfeld, and Iris Apfel for starters. All of these women were and remain iconic fashion influences. The trick is to let your personal interests, not preconceived notions about your age, drive your fashion choices regardless of what year you were born.
Here are a few tips:
Shoot for a more natural style. As Chanel often pointed out, less is more. Keep it simple when it comes to clothing, makeup, and styling for day to day dressing.
Avoid the junior selection. Yes, I am talking to you my 20 and 30 somethings. As in the clothes that can be found in department stores geared toward teenagers (Nordstrom B.P, etc.), at Forever 21, or on websites geared toward your average college girl like ‘She In.” These ‘stores’ usually carry not only basic but tween-like styles in cheap fabrications that look well, cheap. Simply put - you’ve outgrown that and, trust me, that is a good thing.
Feminine and youthful does not always equal sexy. You do not need to wear miniskirts, super high heels, or revealing frocks to affirm your femininity or sensuality. Look to French women, who almost never wear revealing styles no matter their age, yet remain some of the sexiest ladies on the planet. Instead, go for clothes that have stylistic details that can elevate your look. Cap sleeves with ruffles, embroidery detail, and intricate seaming are just a few design elements that can make your clothes more playful and interesting.
Stop making yourself look older. Buying clothes made of low quality fabrics or that are frumpy, oversized, and ill fitting; sporting a handbag made from poor materials; resorting to jeans and lounge clothing on a daily basis; wearing kitschy jewelry; or even wearing too much makeup. All of these things are making you look older than you are. There are stores that exist just to perpetuate what society deems as the appearance of an ‘older women,’ also known to us fashion minded people as the ‘matronly’ look. And they are dictating your appearance on a regular basis. Do you really want that?
Take care of yourself. After 30, there’s a lot more going on in our lives that takes the focus off of ourselves. But, as we get older, it becomes increasingly important to find time for yourself as part of a healthy life balance. Taking a moment to find joy in hobbies, practicing restful activities, investing in skin and body care, and, yes, maintaining a focus on your overall appearance should always be important. After all, retail therapy is a phrase for a reason.
Cut across the decades. You have a unique advantage over the younger generations in that you’ve seen fashion change with the times. Whether it’s from the 80s, 90s, or early 2000s, it all comes back around at some point (e.g., platform shoes, kitten heels, baguette bags, flared jeans, the list goes on…). Build on your fashion sense from each decade to create a unique, dimensional look. Just be mindful of the items you pull from those times to be sure they work with what is current and don’t appear dated.
The older we get the more we know ourselves. Leave the trendy, sexy cuts behind if you’ve grown out of them. Go for items you have a natural affinity for. Take risks and try something new, too, like a pink blazer instead of the classic black. Or, wear a loose crochet cardigan instead of another structured top.
Here’s the thing about being 30 plus years old…you finally have the resources, maturity, experience, and self awareness to set yourself apart. So, use it to identify the clothes and accessories that best reflect your personality. Buy the classic, elegant clothes you have always wanted. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in, as long as it’s not of poor quality and matronly. Sure, our body changes as we age, but so do our personal preferences. Your preferences should be what drives your fashion decisions, no matter what age you are.
How did my mirror session end, you may be wondering? It didn’t take me long to dispel one of the greatest fashion myths and realize that I actually just didn’t feel like wearing a micro mini. Not because of my age, but because I honestly just don’t care for them anymore. But, who knows, maybe I will feel inspired to wear them again in the future.
Want some fashion inspiration? Keep scrolling for some powerful looks and information on the influential women mentioned above.
“I’m baffled that anyone might not think women get more beautiful as they get older. Confidence comes with age, and looking beautiful comes from the confidence someone has in themselves.”
Best known for her role as the editor-in-chief of Vogue Paris, Carine has also been a model, mother, writer, stylist, fashion consultant, and CFDA award recipient. Today, this born and bred Parisian continues producing and developing fashion content for some of the top brands in the world. Of her several projects, Carine is currently the editor of her own biannual magazine CR Fashion Book and recently signed on to collaborate with Chanel as well as as serve as the official style advisor for Karl Lagerfeld’s brand (Fun fact - As most of her family is also in the fashion industry, Carine’s partner and father of her two children, Christian Restoin, was the creator of the Equipment clothing line.)
It is no surprise then that Carine is a fashion industry icon, known for her punk rock, edgy aesthetic and willingness to take bold creative risks. She was even credited with creating the 90s signature style while working with Tom Ford, Gucci, YSL, and many more. But one of the best parts about Carine? Her devotion to making fashion accessible for everyone. In fact, she was the first editor to put a transgender model on the cover of a major fashion magazine, along with showcasing ‘older’ models, models of all races and ethnicities, and those that did not fit the skinny stereotype.
Her work ethic is much like her fearless fashion aesthetic - it’s not as much about the shock value of the images she creates as it is about challenging people’s current way of thinking to keep readers open minded about what (and who) constitutes fashion. And, yes, that includes women of all ages. I mean, she is 65 and look at these outfits. They would work on anyone, at any point in their life.
“I think fashion is here to make you dream, and it’s good that now, because of the expansion of fashion, whether you are skinny or curvy, 20 or 60, you can dream about fashion and what makes you more beautiful. I think fashion has to be a dream for everyone.”
Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of Vogue since 1988 and Artistic Director for Conde Nast since 2013, has had a long, impactful career in fashion journalism. She also runs the CFDA Fashion Fund to support young designers and is the mastermind behind the Met Gala. Does she really need an introduction?! It’s an understatement to say she’s a force to be reckoned with in the fashion industry.
Aside from her hallmark bob haircut and sunglasses, Wintour’s look has evolved over time (this picture was taken in the mid 80s) but is typically more on the modest side with pops of detail and fun style lines. Anna has maintained her inspiring image of fashion throughout the years, and was listed as one of the fifty best-dressed over 50 in 2013 by The Guardian magazine.
Wintour’s clothing choices often follow her personality in that she often wears defined power silhouettes. But, her signature style is perhaps best described as feminine and classic. Here she is pictured in one of her earlier fashion moments from the 90s. I love that she pairs a fun, graphic t-shirt with a more structured short suit and metallic flats. Hamptons anyone?
“Know yourself, know what suits your purposes and know what works for your life.”
After Anna joined Vogue, her wardrobe transitioned to suiting pieces and a whole lot of them, mixed and matched with different details from boots to accessories. These straight lined, tailored silhouettes compliment her body frame, which she is known to prefer to oversized pieces.
When Wintour is not wearing neutral colors, she is usually sporting pops of bright color and bold floral or geometric prints. I love this fun, bright look that has both great texture and personality. And it can be easily replicated at home with a cardigan, printed dress, and chunky necklace.
Wintour, now 71 years old, is pictured here with her daughter Bee Shaffer who is 33 years old. They could easily swap outfits!
Here are a few fashion staples from Anna that make for a perfect closet combo: midi skirts or dresses, a statement necklace, a bold coat, sunglasses, a watch, and a structured blazer. But let the way you combine them be uniquely you.
“Celebrate your own style. Let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.”
Diane von Furstenberg (or DVF) is best known for inventing the jersey ‘wrap dress’ in 1974, which quickly became a symbol of female power and independence. Many believe it was the wrap dress that established DVF as a legend and crucial fixture in the fashion industry. By 1976, more than five million dresses had been sold! DVF is seen here at Studio 54 wearing her iconic wrap dress with Andy Warhol and Monique Van Vooren in 1974.
Not only does DVF serve as the head of her namesake company, but she is an avid philanthropist, women’s rights activist, contributing fashion editor, CFDA lifetime achievement award recipient and president council member, along with many other accolades and titles that she has enjoyed over the years. To this day, the DVF brand remains focused on embracing femininity and women empowerment. And, yes, you can still find the iconic wrap dress in many different patterns and colors. These dresses are great for the office, for dining out, and for travel - one of the main reasons they were originally created to withstand wrinkling while seated in transit for long periods of time.
Aside from the famous wrap dress, the DVF label incorporates bright colors, bold prints, and playful lines that bring modern elegance to every day dressing. And the best part is that the designs are a true reflection of DVF’s signature style. There is little DVF creates that she doesn’t wear herself, bringing a real sense of sincerity to her brand and her voice as a designer. I absolutely love this pant suit on her, from the print to the rich blue color that makes her appear elegant and lux with barely any accessories. Finding outfits that can stand for themselves are great as ‘grab and go’ options when you want to look chic, but don’t have the time or motivation to put a lot of thought into a complete look with accessories. So, let the clothes do the talking.
DVF is seen here with another great example of dressing as a women in her 40s, fashion stylist Rachel Zoe. And if you don’t know who Rachel is, you need to watch all seasons of the Rachel Zoe Project immediately. Rachel and DVF are friends, and DVF actually wrote the introductory remarks for her book Living in Style. Both women possess that boho effortless spirit of the 70s, which is why I think they compliment each other so nicely. You can see DVF here in one of her flowy, printed styles that fall on her frame nicely without overpowering it.
What can we learn from DVF? Be bold and be brave, no matter your age! Maintain a dynamic sense of style, and don’t be afraid of prints and color. Other than incorporating a wrap dress into your closet, tunics, long printed dresses, scarves, and a fitted blazer that you can throw over a t-shirt or a dress are staples for your wardrobe. DVF is all about finding an ease in dressing while exuding confidence.
“I really sell confidence, because confidence is what allows you to design your life and be the person you are or want to be.”
I would think that having the MET museum premiere an exhibition about your style, when you are not an actual designer, would make you a true fashion icon. Which is exactly what happened to Iris Apfel in 2004, after becoming famous for her eccentric, unique, and exuberant style. As a young women, Iris worked for Women’s Wear Daily and on several design restoration projects, including the White House, and traveling the world with her husband in-between.
“It’s very tiring to make things happen, to learn how to master a skill, to push fears aside. Most people would rather just go with the flow; it’s much easier. But it’s not very interesting.”
At 97 years old, she signed a contract with modeling agency IMG. In a nutshell, she is the ultimate age defying fashion icon for women. At 99, this native New Yorker is still active in the fight against ageism in the fashion industry.
“I think if a woman has her own style and knows who she is, she doesn’t have to dress for being 60 or 20 or 90. I mean, there are just some certain things that older women shouldn’t do. But otherwise, I don’t think there are any rules. ”
Apfel has previously described herself as, “the world’s oldest living teenager.” Apfel can always be seen wearing her thick oversized glasses, in addition to her miss matched prints and bold accessories. This picture is no exception!
Although Iris’ style is not for everyone, its her courageous spirit and independent attitude that are perhaps most inspiring to other women. Apfel makes it clear that she doesn’t dress for anyone other than herself, and it doesn’t matter if she is rocking designer labels or flee market finds. She has taught us that living outside the box is ok, proclaiming “The way I dress may be ‘different’ or eccentric to some who feel the need to label, but that’s of no concern to me.”
“To me, the worst fashion faux pas is to look in the mirror, and not see yourself.”