The Legacy of a Strong Woman

Rachel Zoe once said, “clothes are a way to say who you are without having to speak.” She’s right. Your clothing not only tells a story about where you’ve been and what has influenced you as an individual, but also who has influenced you. This includes the women in your family and the special interactions you’ve had with them growing up. In that sense, we all quite literally wear our experiences, and our hearts, on our sleeve.

I am sad to say that I recently lost my grandmother, Colomba “Connie” Santell (1945-2021). Connie was someone who influenced my style for as long as I can remember (among many other aspects of my life). She was always put together, classy, and elegant. It didn’t matter if she was in jeans at home or going out on vacation – my grandmother always appeared effortlessly well kept. She taught me that your appearance and how you present yourself to others is important, and that it should be maintained no matter your age.

In terms of her style icons, my grandmother loved Jackie O, Sophia Loren, Elizabeth Taylor, Lady Diana, and Vivian Leigh. Her outfits reflected the tastes of those women so well. But the simplicity of her outfits were always peppered with hints of glam, making her personal style stand apart from these inspirational fashion icons. She loved shoes (especially pumps), structured jackets, scarves, sunglasses, big hats, and statement making jewelry of all kinds. So, you can imagine why going through her closet was always one of my favorite activities growing up. (You may recall that I had referenced those memories in one of my first posts, here). Wading through her closet was like finding buried treasure, not just because of the items themselves but the stories that were associated with each piece - the 60s belt ring my grandfather gifted her while they were dating, the silver beaded clutch she wore to my parents wedding, the black and white polka dot dress from her 40th birthday, the gold collar necklace dotted with a diamond that my grandfather bought her for Christmas, the mother of pearl Ippolita earrings that made her taffeta black dress shine at my wedding (she was SO proud of those earrings!). I could never get enough of the special memories she shared with me and how they made me feel - warm, comforted, happy, and connected to her. Every story made each item magical in it’s own right. Every story was another piece of her I that acquired as a part of my memory. I remember the day she gave me the belt ring because I was shocked she could part with such a sentimental piece. I was so proud to inherit it and pass that story on to everyone who would ask me about the ring. And I have done so to this day.

Aside from the material things I have inherited over time, Connie left an unquestionable mark on my personal style and greatly influenced my love for fashion, perhaps without even realizing it. The funny part was that she would buy only what she loved, no matter the label or designer. In fact, labels meant little to nothing to her while I definitely went through a phase of couture infatuation in my mid twenties (which she was more than happy to indulge in). It didn’t matter if it was a purse, a dress, or costume jewelry that was terribly overpriced in some boutique she found at home in New York or while vacationing in Florida; if she loved it, it was going home with her. I had tried to tell her so many times, “Grandma, you could get that at Nordstrom for half the price!” She didn’t care. She knew her style and knew what suited her. And aside from all the purses I have collected over the years with her as my silent investor, Connie’s advice and guidance is by far the best thing she has ever given me when it comes to personal style.

My grandmother taught me that the visual impression you leave on other people is important and says a lot about how you value yourself. She taught me that your appearance is not only a reflection of your personal taste, but your confidence, gravitas, and strength as a woman. She taught me to buy clothing and accessories that are timeless and that you will love for years to come, no matter how much they cost or who makes them. And most importantly, she taught me that your appearance should be a true reflection of who you are as an individual. And if it is, and others don’t like it, then “to hell with them.” (Pardon my french, but my grandmother would actually say that).

While Connie has left many things behind as part of her legacy, there are a few things I will always remember her for when it comes to personal style and appearance.

Handbags – My grandmother taught me early on that a handbag is one of the most impactful pieces you can carry as part of an outfit. You could be wearing a bathrobe and as long as you have a great handbag, people will notice. She loved small, boxy, black top handle bags. When we went to Italy, I remember going into Dior with her where she fell in love with the Lady Dior bag. It was something that I always wanted to get her, but never got to do. And it would have been a small favor compared to all the bags she piled into my collection. That was our thing. She loved letting me pick out a new bag for my birthday or Christmas. Today, I have her to thank for probably around 85 percent of the bags in my closet. For her personally, Coach, Michael Kors, and Kate Spade were her go-to brands. I remember taking her to Coach in Georgetown and she had a new bag in her hands in less than 20 minutes. That was such a fun day.

Black and White - My dad would constantly harass my grandmother for never wearing anything but the color black. Which was only partially true, because she also loved white. Almost her entire wardrobe was black and white. It was her safe place, her power ‘color.’ What made her feel strong, capable, and confident. But the combination also made her look put together no matter what. Although her clothing was mostly solid in color, she also loved polka dots, stripes, and prints in this color combination. And when it wasn’t back and white entirely, her outfits would be supplemented with metallics for extra impact. She was definitely the queen of black and white, and no one wore them quite like she did.

Jewelry - My grandmother had a ton of jewelry, ranging from costume to investment pieces. What I remember most in the 80s and 90s were her large statement earrings made of lucite, beading, or crystals that packed a punch to her outfits. She loved anything Swarovski and bought many of their pieces for her granddaughters, too. While she had plenty of fun costume jewelry, she also curated a beautiful collection of fine jewelry that my grandfather gave her over the years. Her gold and diamond pieces were practical yet impactful, ranging from tennis bracelets, to diamond studs, to rings. I was lucky enough to inherit a piece that always struck me as so uniquely her when I was growing up - a yellow gold snake collar necklace with a round diamond pendant attached. Out of all of her jewelry, this custom piece couldn’t have reflected her essence more. It was truly one of a kind, just like her. All of her jewelry was tasteful and elegant, and made an impact no matter what she wore. Connie also bought a ton of jewelry for her daughters and granddaughters, myself included. I could always count on something shiny coming my way during Christmas, but I probably appreciate the gesture now more than ever. My grandparents bought me my first Tiffany’s pieces, several rings dotted with colored stones, and even a copy of the infamous ‘heart of the ocean’ from Titanic (my fault entirely as a young teen, woof). Taste aside, these pieces will always be part of my closet and hold such special memories that I can revisit whenever I wear them.

Skincare & Makeup - For as long as I can remember, my grandmother was obsessed with my skincare routine. She hated that I would break out and tried to impart all her skincare wisdom to me as a teenager. She constantly told me to always lotion after the shower, to take good care of my skin while I am young to avoid wrinkles, and to invest in good creams and products that would maintain the youthfulness of my appearance. I am so happy that I listened to her and tried my best to take care of my skin. Her advice and constant heckling appears to have served me well despite my age (according to my facialist among others, anyway). Connie and my Aunt Sharon would often argue about the best skincare brands - Peter Thomas Roth, Dr. Jart, Drunk Elephant, and Kate Sommerville were frequent subjects. Either way, they both looked fabulous and took great care of their faces. I mean look at some of these pictures below when my grandmother was 50! She looks even more amazing than I remember at the time they were actually taken. People, take a page from Connie and don’t sleep on the skincare! My grandmother also loved makeup and, although it wasn’t the cleanest brand, anything made by Chanel. She always wore makeup, even in the last weeks of her life. She always looked stunning and cared about her appearance, which included self care and her makeup routine. Her attention to self care taught me to invest in a routine and present the best version of myself each day, no matter how I feel or what I am doing. Because the way that you take care of yourself affects how you feel, and in turn, how others feel about you.

Having Connie as such a large part of my life has taught me so much. I was extremely fortunate to have a grandmother (and a grandfather) that supported and cared for me unconditionally, no matter what. There are many things I could tell you about our relationship and everything that she has done for me over the years. So many stories and memories that I could share. I would never be who I am today without her. To say that it will be hard to not have Connie in my life or to talk to her anymore is a major understatement. But, as Robby says, there is so much of my grandmother that lives on in me. Not just in my soul, but in my style. And that is only one aspect of the many fabulous things Connie Santell has imparted to me. Hopefully, she has left a little impact on you today, too.

Keep scrolling to get a glimpse of my grandmother’s fun fashion and style throughout the years.